I wanted to do a funny thing after He Never Saw The Light Of Day, so here it is! This is a warriors version of Wizard Swears by Potter Puppet Pals.--Shaf Girl 03:45, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
(Graypaw and Sandpaw are lying around because it's a hot greeleaf day and there's nothing to do)
Firepaw: Guys! Bluestar told me a list of words that are banned from ThunderClan. I didn't know warriors had swears.
Sandpaw: Of course they do, Firepaw! They're called Warrior Swears.
Graypaw: Oooo, like kittypet fighter!
Firepaw: Really? That's adorable!
Sandpaw: Oh, they're worse than that. Tell us some, Firepaw.
Firepaw: Let's see here. Son of a badger. That's useful.
Sandpaw: Leap and pounce, that's my favorite.
Tigerclaw: (cough) Do my ears detect foul mouthness?
Sandpaw: Oh no, Tigerclaw--
Firepaw: Scourge's milk!
Tigerclaw: Excuse me?!
Sandpaw: Firepaw! (shoves Firepaw with her paw)
Tigerclaw: I refuse to have this crowfood spat in my presence, kittypet. 500,000 hunting duties for you and your friends.
Graypaw: Fox bogies! (everyone looks at him)
Firepaw: Everybody run. Expecto Rogue! (apprentices run away)
Tigerclaw: (sigh) Prey rousers.
Firepaw: Oh, that was fun. Oh, hi, Ravenpaw.
Ravenpaw: Hello, Firepaw, Sandpaw, Graypaw. What's up, guys?
Graypaw: We're saying starry naughty words like Jiggle the Rats!
Ravenpaw: (gasp) The queens forbid me from saying bad language.
Firepaw: Well, the queens are all bad-breathed dogs.
Sandpaw: He doesn't mean it, Ravenpaw. He's just testing out some Warrior Swears.
Firepaw: I mean every word I ever say, ever, because I am Firepaw. (thunder sound effects XD)
Ravenpaw: (begins to walk away) I'm telling Bluestar.
Graypaw: You're such a birch-head!
Ravenpaw: This is against the warrior code!
Firepaw: (stands in his way) I can't let you do this, Ravenpaw.
Ravenpaw: (backs up) Oh, no. No, no. I don't want to swear, no, the queens wouldn't let me swear, no...
Firepaw: (stands in his way again) Are you from ThunderClan or not, Ravenpaw?
Ravenpaw: I am ThunderClan, but, but--
Firepaw: Try it, then! Here's the list. (whispers the list) Say anything.
Sandpaw: You can do it, Ravenpaw.
Ravenpaw: (stammers more) Whitestorm's...behind...
Graypaw and Sandpaw: Yay!
Firepaw: You sicken me!
Ravenpaw: But, but, it's on the list--
Firepaw: Whitestorm is ten times the tom you'll ever be, Ravenpaw!
Ravenpaw: (shrinks down)
Firepaw: Leave ThunderClan, Ravenpaw. Never come back.
Ravenpaw: (walks away)
Graypaw and Sandpaw: Yay!
Sandpaw: You're quite the hero today, Firepaw.
Graypaw: Yeah, you're filled with tomish attitude.
Firepaw: Hey, let's go bother someone!
(the apprentices sneak up on Brokenstar)
Brokenstar: Who are you?
Firepaw: Leopard urine!
Brokenstar: What?! You apprentices! If I ever find out who's talking to me, I will tell the leaders and you will go into exile, and I will kill you!
(the apprentices giggle)
Tigerclaw: (comes with Bluestar) There they are.
(the apprentices gasp)
Bluestar: Tigerclaw would like to have a word with you, apprentices.
Sandpaw: Oh, squirrel tails.
Tigerclaw: That is the exact sort of vulgarity that I want you to irradicate from the distinguished camp of ThunderClan. The traditions of the Clan must be upheld and respected, Thunderstar surely--
Firepaw: Kittypet (beep) collar (beep), Tigerclaw!
Firepaw: You floppy-clawed Twoleg botherer! (everyone stares at him)
Graypaw: Smudge's rabies shot.
Tigerclaw: Bluestar, I urge you to exile these monsters.
Bluestar: Oh, Tigerclaw, let them have their fresh-kill.
Tigerclaw: But you're the one that banned the words in the first place!
Bluestar: I don't even remember five heartbeats ago. Why are you sulking?
Tigerclaw: (walks away, grumbling)
Sandpaw: Thank you so much, Bluestar.
Bluestar: Alas, you're welcome.
Firepaw: Bluestar, you're as old as StarClan, right?
Bluestar: Why, yes.
Firepaw: Do you know any super ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden times Warrior Swears?
Bluestar: Uh, well, there is one...
Graypaw: I want to hear it!
Bluestar: The StarClan Swear! You must never repeat it to anyone.
Sandpaw: We won't, Bluestar.
Bluestar: Here it is: Your mother is a (beep)ing (beep) crowfood-eating (beep) adder venom (beep)...
(the apprentices look at each other)
Bluestar: ...Twoleg-loving (beep) cow and horse (beep) believing-in-one-Clan (beep) and Erin Hunter (beep) with a fresh-kill pile of (beep) and an old Tribe cave far away where no one can hear you (beep) sun-drown-place (beep) with a fresh-kill pile of (beep) Tom and Jerry (beep) and the fire that destroyed ThunderClan (beep) medicine cat (beep) and a random act of StarClan!
(silence, then...) Graypaw: Woah...
Bluestar: Now you know. You must never, ever repeat it. Okay?
Firepaw: We promise, Bluestar.
(the apprentices are gathered around Ravenpaw) Firepaw, Graypaw, and Sandpaw: Your mother is a (beep)ing (beep) crowfood-eating (beep) adder venom (beep) Twoleg-loving (beep) cow and horse...