Chapter One: Warriors Meets Harry Potter

Ashfur: *Walking down the street* My life sucks. I love Squirrelflight. Brambleclaw is a *bleep*!

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger: *Also walking down the street*

Mudkit (Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw's daughter): *Stares* Oh my StarClan! I...I think I'm randomly in love with some Twoleg with a lightning bolt scar!

Harry Potter: That kitten is staring at me.

Hermione: No she's not! You're just saying that because you think you're the chosen one.

Harry Potter: I am the chosen one.

Hermione: *Battle cry* *Murders*

Harry Potter: *Dies* *Is dead* *DEAD*

Hermione: *Sees some green-and-yellow pills on the ground* Oh look, it's some random medicine! I don't know what it is. I've got a great idea - I should put it in my mouth!

Creepy puppet from that 'Don't You Put It In Your Mouth' commercial: *Nods* That's a wonderful idea.

Hermione: *Eats pills* *Loses mind* *Runs around going crazy*

Mudkit: Auntie Leafpool!

Leafpool: Yes, little kit?

Mudkit: What did that girl just eat? You know, the one who murdered my love?

Leafpool: *Looks at pills* Oh, dear. She's eaten...

Hermione: HAPPY PILLS!

Chapter Two: If Nobody Cared

(A/N: I bet you're all thinking 'Huh? W-why's she updating?! I thought this was discontinued!' Well, it was, but I've decided to continue it after all. I'm feeling especially random right now,'s a Suite Life of Zack and Cody quote!

"Yay me!"

-London Tipton)

Hermione: *Runs around laughing her head off* *Screams like a savage*

Meanwhile, at Harry's funeral...

Mudkit: *Sobs* I loved him!

Heronpaw (Stormfur and Brook's daughter): It's ok, Mudkit. There's plenty of fish--

Mudkit: Don't you give me that stupid saying! *Grabs a huge knife* *Cuts Heronpaw's head off*

Everyone attending funeral: *Gasps in horror*

Tigerstar's Ghost: *Claps* Yay! It appears that my grandchild has inherited my murdererness!

Hermione: *Barges in* *Kills Mudkit*

Tigerstar's Ghost: *Gasps in horror*

Everyone attending funeral: *Gasps in horror*

Mudkit's Ghost: What's everybody gasping about?

Heronpaw's Ghost: You just murdered me and then that crazy girl just murdered you.

Hermione: *Locks doors and windows* *Turns lights off* *Holds candle to face* *Glowing red eyes* Hello, innocent citizens. My name is...*thunder* HERMIONE GRANGER!

Everyone attending funeral: SSCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hermione: I am mentally insane. I am holding you hostage. As such, you shall now be called 'hostages' instead of 'everyone attending funeral.'

Hostages: *Nod nervosuly*

Hermione: I am going to sing If Nobody Cared, which is my version of If Everyone Cared by Nickelback. Are there any objects?

Hostages: *Shake heads nervously*

Hermione: Good, because anyone who disagrees with me will be executed.

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky

Confusing atomic bombs for UFOs

I never dreamed that you'd be mine

But here we are, we're hostages tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

If nobody cared and everyone cried

If nobody loved and everyone lied

If everyone didn't share and was greedy instead

Then we'd see the day that everyone died

And I'm singing amen

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the poisonus insects

Our only light in this nightmare

We'll show the world they're all idiots

And then commit suicide

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

I'm alive...

Hostages: *Kill themselves*

Hermione: *Sighs* Now who am I supposed to torture?

(A/N: Who is Hermione supposed to torture next? How about you tell me on the talk page! It could be Crookedstar, Dawnkit from Haunted, Mistypaw from Secret, Deernose from BrookClan...anyone!)

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