Note from writers: Please note that we do not obey the laws of time or space. (Or the laws of gravity. Weee! (jumps in the air and floats) )
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Mosswhisker: Hi, and welcome to our newest smoof! I—
(Ravenpaw and Barley step up)
Barley: I’m sorry ma’am, but if you’ll please come with us.
Barley: You’re being arrested along with Mousewhisker. The two of you are being charged with fraud.
Ravenpaw: Sorry, but that’s the way it is.
(Begins to drag away)
Mosswhisker: Stealth, if you’re messing with my computer, you’d better get off RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stealthfire: Hi, Moss!
Mosswhisker: If you’re not messing with it, then why am I still being dragged away!!!!!!!!
Stealthfire: Oh, you got a virus from watching Charlie the Unicorn© on Youtube, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix it!
Mosswhisker: (Attempts to maul)
(Barley and Ravenpaw throw into jail cell along with Blossomkit, Blossomkit, Stonefur, Stormfur, Mousewhisker, Gorsepaw, Gorseclaw, Bramblepaw, Brambleclaw, Tigerpaw, Tigerpaw, Sorrelkit, Squirrelkit, Mudclaw, Mudclaw, Ashfur, Ashfur, Birchstar, Birchstar, and Birchstar)
Mosswhisker: Not being lenient, are they?
Birchstar 3: Nope.
Ashfur 1: Definitely not.
Barley: Okay, everyone, it’s time for your trial. Now get out here!
(All cats walk out)
Mousewhisker: Isn’t this where we had the auction?
Blossomkit 2: Who’s the judge?
Mosswhisker: (desperately) Oh, please tell me I changed it from…
Ravenpaw: All stand for the honorable judge Cloudberry!
(All cats stay sitting)
Mosswhisker: Well, thank goodness!
Cloudberry: Okay, I can tell you right off that Bramblepaw and Brambleclaw are guilty.
Bramblepaw/claw: But we’re the same cat!
Gorsepaw: How is that possible?
Stealthfire: (jumps up) Because we don’t obey the laws of time and space!
Mosswhisker: Or gravity! Wheeeeeee… (Floats out window; disappears)
Cloudberry: I guess that makes those four cats innocent by default!
Bone: Apprentices and kits should be excused.
Bone: (blushes, slowly slinks away)
Cloudberry: Kit and apprentices are excused, then.
Honeyfern: And that leaves… uh… how many?
Stealthfire: Let’s see… (Scrolls up) …11!
Cloudberry: I declare you all guilty!
Stormfur: Of what?
Cloudberry: I don’t know which Birchstar was the one who helped drive out SkyClan, so I’m punishing them all…
Birchstars: (point to each other) It was that one!
Cloudberry: (Ignores) … One Ashfur is an idiot…
Ashfurs: It’s not him!
Cloudberry: (Ignores again) …both Mudclaws are idiots…
Mudclaws: Oh, thanks a lot!
Cloudberry: (Ignores again) …so I’m giving you all community service.
Cloudberry: You will babysit Squirrelkit for 15 minutes.
All convicts except for Stone/Stormfur: Noooooooooo…
Stone/Stormfurs: Wait, why are you convicting us?
Cloudberry: Because you’re HalfClan.
All cats: (Stare)
Cloudberry: Umm… I… have to go now… (slowly slinks off)
Firestar: Hey, has anyone seen Tigerstar this smoof?
Leafpool: While Stealthfire’s running everywhere trying to find Mosswhisker, and Bramblepaw and claw are trying to get reunited—and figure out how they got separated in the first place—let’s sing the End of the Show Song!
This is the end of the show,
In case you didn’t know,
But you really should have known by now,
This is the end of the show,
Now let’s all do the disco!
All apprentices: Yay!
Mosswhisker: (lands) What’d I miss?