Brambleclaw: My name is Brambleclaw...
Tawnypelt: And my name is Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw's sister!
TawnyBramble: We're the narrators for this SMOOF!
Brambleclaw: Only because Firestar is part of this thingy!
Tawnypelt: Okay, so we're here at the DEBATING SMOOF PLACE, of SmoofClan's camp.
Cinderpelt (voice off in distance): I'm a med cat!
Firestar (voice off in distance): WHO CARES?
Cinderpelt (VOID): I'm your medicine cat!
Leafpool (VOID): So am I!
Jayfeahter (VOID): But I'm the latest med cat! You two are no longer med cats!
Brambleclaw: The competition is heating up as we draw nearer! (emerging in DEBATING SMOOF PLACE)
Firestar: Thank StarClan! My deputy!
Brambleclaw (inching away): No thanks, Firestar, I'm the narrator!
Tawnypelt: So am I!
Sandstorm: You better back off of my tom, Cinderpelt!
Firestar: Aw, come on! I was your mentor!
Cinderpelt: Yellowfang was my mentor!
Sootfur: I don't even know which side I'm on!
Brambleclaw: Thank StarClan! I can leave! Firestar's gonna KISS me! (turning tail and running into the forest)
Tawnypelt: *sigh* Well, thanks Sootfur.
Sootfur: You're welcome!
Spottedleaf: You can't mate with her! Firestar's my boyfriend!
Sandstorm: GET OFF OF HIM! (rolling into a fight)
Spottedleaf: You can't kill me! I'm dead!
Sandstorm: You can't kill me! I'm alive!
Cinderpelt (sigh): Yellowfang? Will you get those screeching furballs out of SmoofClan?
Yellowfang (sigh): Sure. (walks away)
Firestar: But I L-O-V-E you!
Cinderpelt: Who cares?
Firestar: I DO!
Squirrelflight (pops out of nowhere with a giant squirrel): I CARE TOO! Firestar's my daddy!
Leafpool: Firestar's my daddy too.
Squirrelflight (killing the giant squirrel): But you betrayed all of us, you filthy little meddy cat!
Leafpool: Who are you talking filthy?
Tawnypelt: Oh, this smoof is getting rough! No roughness in SMOOFCLAN! This smoof is over!