Brambleclaw: My name is Brambleclaw...

Tawnypelt: And my name is Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw's sister!

TawnyBramble: We're the narrators for this SMOOF!

Brambleclaw: Only because Firestar is part of this thingy!

Tawnypelt: Okay, so we're here at the DEBATING SMOOF PLACE, of SmoofClan's camp.

Cinderpelt (voice off in distance): I'm a med cat!

Firestar (voice off in distance): WHO CARES?

Cinderpelt (VOID): I'm your medicine cat!

Leafpool (VOID): So am I!

Jayfeahter (VOID): But I'm the latest med cat! You two are no longer med cats!

Brambleclaw: The competition is heating up as we draw nearer! (emerging in DEBATING SMOOF PLACE)

Firestar: Thank StarClan! My deputy!

Brambleclaw (inching away): No thanks, Firestar, I'm the narrator!

Tawnypelt: So am I!

Sandstorm: You better back off of my tom, Cinderpelt!

Firestar: Aw, come on! I was your mentor!

Cinderpelt: Yellowfang was my mentor!

Yellowfang: YEAH!

Sootfur: I don't even know which side I'm on!

Brambleclaw: Thank StarClan! I can leave! Firestar's gonna KISS me! (turning tail and running into the forest)

Tawnypelt: *sigh* Well, thanks Sootfur.

Sootfur: You're welcome!

Spottedleaf: You can't mate with her! Firestar's my boyfriend!

Sandstorm: GET OFF OF HIM! (rolling into a fight)

Spottedleaf: You can't kill me! I'm dead!

Sandstorm: You can't kill me! I'm alive!

Cinderpelt (sigh): Yellowfang? Will you get those screeching furballs out of SmoofClan?

Yellowfang (sigh): Sure. (walks away)

Firestar: But I L-O-V-E you!

Cinderpelt: Who cares?

Firestar: I DO!

Squirrelflight (pops out of nowhere with a giant squirrel): I CARE TOO! Firestar's my daddy!

Leafpool: Firestar's my daddy too.

Squirrelflight (killing the giant squirrel): But you betrayed all of us, you filthy little meddy cat!

Leafpool: Who are you talking filthy?

Squirrelflight: YOU!

Tawnypelt: Oh, this smoof is getting rough! No roughness in SMOOFCLAN! This smoof is over!