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Essay
This page contains a fan fiction written by Shooting Midnight.
This page contains the opinions of the original author(s), and is not patrolled for factual accuracy.
Remember that this story is non-canon. It may contain false characters, plots, or locations.
Responses, comments & other feedback should be made on the Talk Page.


This is a spoof!


Firestar: Welcome to Firestar in StarClan show! Also known as FSC Show! Today we are going to have some Twolegs coming in that apparently some Twolegs love.

Mosskit: Twolegs are weird.

Obama: Shut up!

Firestar: You aren't even in this show!

(Mosskit wails)

Bluestar: It is okay Mosskit…

(Stonefur interrupts her)

Stonefur: There is a very cruel world out there. Cats kill.

(Mosskit wail more)

(Firestar clears throat) First one up is Beatrice Potter!

Harry Potter: She is my sister!

Tris: Shut up. Anyways, I am supposed to be dead but I am not. I am supposed to be with my mother. We were having a tea party and you interrupted us (suddenly wails)

Tobias/Four: Dauntless men don't cry.

Tris: I am not a man! (Runs away)

Firestar: Next up is… Harry Potter!

Harry Potter: I am so awesome! I am so awesome! I can make you stupid by saying Stupidfy or something. Look at my awesome wand!

(Spottedleaf kicks him off the stage)

Firestar: You are back!!

Spottedleaf: What do you think?

Firestar: I love you!

(Sandstorm launches a bomb on Firestar and Spottedleaf)

Sandstorm: Yay! They are dead! Dead for the last time! Squirrelflight, you will be the leader of ThunderClan after I launch a bomb on-

Katniss Everdeen: I don't like to be waiting in the waiting room. Hello?

Sandstorm: Servants! Escort her here!

(Dustpelt, Dovewing, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze escort her out)

Jayfeather: I hate Sandstorm. I hate you, Katniss Whateverdeen.

Katniss: Gimme a bow!

(Dovewing gives her a bow)

Katniss: Gimme a quiver of arrows!

(Dustpelt gives her a quiver of arrows)

(Katniss shoots Dustpelt, Dovewing, and Lionblaze. Jayfeather runs away)

Katniss: Oh Peeta! I actually hate you!

Haymitch: What, sweetheart?

Dead Rue: Hello!

Katniss: Rue!

(Sandstorm clears her throat) Katniss, we have some visitors waiting.

Katniss: I am gonna kill myself to be with Rue and Prim. Nightlock, night lock, nightlock…

(A Halo explodes and Sandstorm, Squirrelflight and others die.)

Percy Jackson: Hello?

Tigerstar: Finally… prey!

Ferncloud: Go away, Tigerstar. You are supposed to be gone!!

Percy Jackson: Does your name tag read Meekstar and Awesomecloud? (Squints)

Ferncloud: I am Awesomecloud!

(Tigerstar tried to kill Percy Jackson)

Annabeth: Annabeth to the rescue!

(Stabs Tigerstar and Ferncloud)

Annabeth: I rename StarClan to AnnabethStarClan!

Hawkfrost: Hi.

Blackstar: I fart.

Fallen Leaves: Go away.

Gale Hawthorne: Where is Katniss?

Tobias: Where is Tris? She was doing some tea party with her mother again…

Bramblestar: Die!

Annabeth: What?

(StarClan get's destroyed)

(Leafpool, Jayfeather, and Hollyleaf are the only survivors)

Leafpool: we will restore StarClan! We will fart! I will heal the wounded!

Hollyleaf: I will fight the enemy!

Jayfeather: And I do… uh… heal the enemy?

(Hollyleaf kills him)

Hollyleaf: Now I am a murderer! (Wails!)

Leafpool: Sorry audience, but this is the end of FSC or LTC you can say. Uh… bye!

Bramblestar: I shall kill you!

Leafpool: So until next time… Toodles!

(Leafpool runs away, shrieking.)

t h e e n d

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