Note: All insults were written by Blackstar. Please be aware of that.
"Hi, I'm Lakepaw, and I'll be you guide for today," I said. "So, who so we have? Firestar - yup. Jayfeather - yup. Brambleclaw - yes. Graystripe - Mm-mm. Daisy and Ferncloud - okay."
Foxdung! I need to put up those 2 pesky she-cats! I thought to myself.
Yes, I'm a she-cat. No, I don't like Ferncloud and Daisy.
"Single file, into the Twoleg Monster. No, Graystripe, this won't take you away. Besides, we have Firestar with us," I said.
Driving past the abonded Twoleg Nest, Ferncloud started itching a flea.
"You have fleas?" I asked.
Ferncloud blinked. "I really couldn't say."
I rolled my eyes.
Near the ShadowClan boarder, we approached a sign that said:
Get away from ^
What a friendly sign, I thought.
I recognized the handwriting as Blackstar's.
Just then, and ginger tom walked up.
"Howdy, folks! I'm Rowanclaw. Ain't it a great day?"
"Umm, yes. We need to get through..." I began, but he cut me off.
"Y'know, I was a girl a one point. And know I'm a tom."
"How did you become a she-cat?"
"I don't know. You know we have Twolegs following us, and they get confused reguarly."
Now this I didn't know.
"They kill all the pretty young she-cats, y'know."
I blinked. Was I next?
Firestar started wailing.
In WindClan Territory, Crowfeather was wailing.
"Oh, be quiet," I muttered.
"But they also killed some evil cats, or made us kill them."
Everybody burst into cheers.
I rolled my eyes again.
"They also give us the same name. For example, Blackstar always has an urge to name a Snakepaw Snaketail."
All they other cats in the bus looked at him.
"Anyway, I'll let you go."
Thank StarClan! I muttered.
ShadowClan's exiting sign said:
Thanks for getting out of/staying away from ^
Now we were driving into RiverClan territory. The sign here said:
Land of the fish-breaths ^
This Blackstar was clever. Even though I was a medicine cat apprentice, I wanted to claw him.
"Hello, there," said Leopardstar in a haughty accent. "It is my accaquiantence to meet you."
"Leopardstar, what's wrong with you?" asked Firestar.
Leopardstar ignored him. "Anyway, I shall lead you to the Drive-through."
What's a drive through? I asked myself.
I found out soon enough. First Heavystep III (aka Heavystep, who died twice of greencough and still appeared in Sunrise) asked us if we wanted "cheeseburgers." I declined the offer. Then he offered us "soda". Firestar had some and declared it was delicious.
I listened to Daisy's and Ferncloud's conversation that followed.
Daisy: You know, there should be a kit named Cheesekit.
Ferncloud: Don't forget Sodakit and Burgerkit.
I yawned. Did all these she-cats talk about were kits?
We saw the ShadowClan tour bus behind us. From what I saw, they bought around 63 cheeseburgers and 82 soda. Watch out for screaming kits, I thought.
Sure enough, that's what happened. Littlecloud came running over to us, asking for yarrow.
I shoved some towards him. "Happy?" I asked.
"Very." he bounded away.
Next we came out of RiverClan Territory, and I read the sign.
I'm surprised you SURVIVED. Fish burgers, anyone?
I truly had no comment on that sign.
We started moving through WindClan territory. As we entered, I noticed a sign.
Ashfoot was standing there, hammering it into the ground. She had a bunch of nails in her mouth.
"Oh, hello there!" she said. "Welcome to our lovely clan!"