The Wizard of Oz- without the Wizard of Oz
Quailfeather: *walking* *sees Brambleclaw*
Brambleclaw: Why are you alive?
Quailfeather: Because I like cheesy tacos.
Brambleclaw: *turns into a mouse* *scampers away*
Quailfeather: *catches him* *makes him into a cheesy taco using her magical wizard powers*
Firestar: Can I have some of that cheesy taco? I've always wanted to eat Brambleclaw.
Quailfeather: *shrieks like a banshee* "Of course, Firestar! I love cream cheese!
Firestar: *eats the cheesy taco made out of Brambleclaw* *runs away cackling as he turns into the Good Witch of the West*
Dorothy: There is no Good Witch of the West! Gosh, who's writing this?
Forestpaw: I am, Dorothy. You hurt my feelings! *runs away sobbing*
Dorothy: *calls after Forestpaw* Your name is weird!
Quailfeather: Why are you here?
Dorothy: Because I wanted to invite you on my journey on the Yellow Brick Road.
Quailfeather: I wondered why that was there.
Dorothy: Do you want to come?
Quailfeather: No. But I think I know who will want to come. *shoves pile of feathers into Dorothy's face* I know that Bird here loves long, magical journeys! But- he has a cold, and a cough, and the flu, and diarrhea, and altitude sickness, and a fear of long yellow roads, magic, evil witches, and long journeys that involve magic. Have fun!
Dorothy: Come on, Bird! *holds out slimy pile of feathers in front of her as she walks*
Quailfeather: *calls after Dorothy* Make sure he doesn't pee on you!
Dorothy: *runs away*
Bird: *snort* *snore*
Dorothy: Stop it!
Bird: *falls apart*
Dorothy: *runs away* Nasty! Eew!
Strange creature: I am a strange creature.
Strange creature: Can you use your magic so I'm not a strange creature anymore?
Dorothy: *waves hands* Hocus Pocus!
Strange creature: *turns into a strange cat* Thank you. I hated being one-sixteenth Griffin, one-sixteenth dog, one-sixteenth cat, one-sixteenth fish, one-sixteenth tree, one-sixteenth bird, one-sixteenth duck, one-sixteenth Swishy, and one-half human.
Dorothy: What are you know? *dreads answer*
Strange creature: Oh, just a combination of cat, earth, and human.
Dorothy: How can you be part earth?
Strange creature: *falls apart into large mound of dirt*
Dorothy: Um, okay. Bye! *skips away down the road*
Lion: Help me! I don't have a heart!
Dorothy: How can you not have a heart, if you're alive and breathing and stuff?
Lion: I don't know. I just don't have a heart.
Tinman: I don't have a heart, you nitwit! You don't have any courage!
Lion: I'm too scared to tell her!
Tinman: *sighs* That explains a lot about him.
Dorothy: I'll take you to the Evil Witch of the West and she'll give you a heart, and some courage too!
Lion: But I'm too scared to go! That road looks so scary! So does that tree over there! We must escape! *runs through cornfield*
Tinman: Three, two, one.
Lion: It's too scary! *screams*
Dorothy: You guys, I haven't even made it a mile yet! *looks back at Quailfeather, who is staring at her with a weird look on her face*
Lion: *screams* The world is ending! *runs away* *falls off a cliff*
Tinman: That's the end of him.
Lion: *screams* Blood!
Tinman: ... Or not. Anything can happen in the magical land of Hoogalie.
Quailfeather: *comes over* That lion is weird. Want to come back to my hut where we have dead mice and water on leaves? Hurry, because it's evaporating!
Dorothy: No. I'll go back home to Kansas. *taps shoes three times and disappears*
Quailfeather: Forestpaw, you can come out now.
Forestpaw: I love bombs!
Dorothy: *remains fall around them*
Lion: *screams* The world is ending!
Star Wars- without the Stars
Firestar: I'm bored.
Sandstorm: So am I. What do you want to do?
Firestar: REBEL AGAINST YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... *continues for a long time* Did that sound convincing?
Sandstorm: Yeah- if normal evil laughing is loud and fake!
Firestar: *takes out lightsaber* You don't know the power of the Dark Side!
Sandstorm: I don't, because I've never heard of it.
Forestpaw: But I have!
Firestar: You have?
Forestpaw: Yeah. I have. *takes out cool green lightsaber*
Firestar: *snaps fingers in a Z-formation* Oh, no you didn't!
Forestpaw: I did. Don't do that.
Firestar: Try and stop me! *lunges at Forestpaw*
Sandstorm: Stop it! Those could hurt somebody!
Firestar: Obviously. *cuts Sandstorm's head off*
Lion: *screams* Lightsabers! *runs far away*
Skypaw: He's weird. *pulls out blue lightsaber* Now we shall defeat Darth Firestar!
Tigerstar: *jumps down from tree* Oh, no you won't!
Forestpaw and Skypaw: Darth Tigerstar?
Tigerstar: It's true, you two. Now, run away now. We have things to do.
Forestpaw: What things do you have to do?
Tigerstar: *lunges at Forestpaw* Kill you! *takes out evil red lightsaber*
Forestpaw and Tigerstar: *fight*
Forestpaw and Tigerstar: *fight more*
Forestpaw and Tigerstar: *fight even more*
Forestpaw: *cuts Tigerstar's head off*
Firestar: *runs away squealing like a she-cat*
Forestpaw and Skypaw: It's the fall of Darth Tigerstar and Darth Firestar! Yay! We are heros!
Sandstorm: *comes back to life* No, you're not. *takes out lightsaber*
Forestpaw: *cuts Sandstorm's head off*
Skypaw: Now we are heros! Yay!
All of ThunderClan except for Tigerstar 'cause he's not in it and also he's dead: Yay Forestpaw! Yay Skypaw! Yay for the death of Sandstorm!
Sanstorm: *comes back to life* I'm offended! *dies again*
All of ThunderClan except for Tigerstar 'cause he's not in it and also he's dead: ...
Forestpaw: Let's go get something to eat!
All of ThunderClan except for Forestpaw and Tigerstar ('cause he's not in it and also he's dead): Yay! Tigerstar is yummy!
Harry Potter- without the Potter
Dustpelt: *is still walking*
Dustpelt: *is still walking after all this time*
Dustpelt: CAN YOU MAKE ME STOP WALKING?
Forestpaw: *makes Dustpelt stop walking* There you go! *mutters curse words under breath*
Dustpelt: No, you're a *@#%#@$$#R6547534^% and a @#%^$%74w24642$^$#! Geez!
Forestpaw: *sobs and runs away*
Tallstar: *jumps out in front of Dustpelt (who is still walking despite Forestpaw's attempts to stop him)* You're a wizard!
Dustpelt: What's that?
Tallstar: You have magical powers (like Quialfeather in "The Wizard of Oz- with no Wizard of Oz")!
Dustpelt: Cool! *makes Tallstar disappear with his magical powers*
Tallstar: Hey! That's not fair!
Dustpelt: Too bad.
Tallstar: *stomps away angrily*
Tigerstar: You can't make me go away!
Dustpelt: Okay, why are you the evil guy in all of the stories so far?
Tigerstar: Because Scourge is on his morning break.
Dustpelt: Oh, that makes sense!
Tigerstar: Open Sesame!
Dustpelt: Hoogalie Boogalie!
Dustpelt: Um... I'm running out of spells. Can we stop so I can think of one?
*dramatic pause while Dustpelt thinks of something*
Dustpelt: Okay, I've got it!
Tigerstar: Okay! Let's start over!
Dustpelt: *takes deep breath*
Dustpelt: *takes another really deep breath*
Tigerstar: *gets turned into a frog*
Dustpelt: Yay! It worked!
Everyone in ThunderClan: Yay! Dustpelt is our hero! Yay!
Sandstorm: *comes back to life* What about me? Am I part of ThunderClan?
Firestar: No, you old frail lunatic!
Sandstorm: *sob* *dies for the third time*
Everyone in ThunderClan except for Sandstor: Yay! Dustpelt is our hero!
Kung Fu Panda- without the Panda
Foxpaw: *is walking*
Dustpelt: *jumps in front of Foxpaw* Two things! One, I've stopped walking! Two, you must go to the kingdom to sell mice!
Foxpaw: *sighs* But I don't like mice.
Dustpelt: Then sell birds.
Foxpaw: Okay! *lugs large cart of birds up stairs*
Cart: *falls down stairs*
Foxpaw: *lugs large cart of birds up stairs*
Cart: *falls down stairs*
Foxpaw: *lugs large cart of birds up stairs*
Cart: *falls down stairs*
Foxpaw: *finally makes it up stairs*
Large fat cat: The Master is...
Foxpaw: *explodes into Kingdom* Who wants birds!
Crowd: We do! *crowds around Foxpaw*
Foxpaw: Hey! No stealing!
Crowd: *runs away*
Large fat cat: You made the crowd go away! What was that for?
Foxpaw: I don't know. I'm not StarClan.
Large fat cat: And the Master is... you! *points tail at Foxpaw*
Foxpaw: Oh, snap.
Foxpaw: *is drinking strange liquid*
Lion: *screams* Strange liquid! *runs away*
Foxpaw: This strange liquid is yummy!
Large fat cat: That's milk.
Foxpaw: *throws away milk* *grabs a different strange liquid* What's this?
Large fat cat: I don't know. *sniffs strange liquid* Oh, um, don't drink that. I made it myself.
Foxpaw: Are you that bad at making tea?
Large fat cat: Actually, anyone can make this tea, with slight variations every time.
Foxpaw: *is confused* Oh, well. *throws away yellow liquid*
Zebra: I am the Kung-Fu Master!
Foxpaw: Obviously, you haven't learned of my good fortune.
Zebra: My name is Zeeba, the Evil Zebra.
Foxpaw: Yeah, an evil fashion statement! *laughs* I mean, look at that pattern! It's horrible! *laughs*
Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: Thanks!
Foxpaw: You're welcome!
Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: Now, where is the scroll that I'm supposed to fight from you?
Foxpaw: *pulls scroll out of mouth* Here. *wipes scroll off*
Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: Cool!
Foxpaw and Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: *fight for scroll*
Foxpaw and Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: *fight more for scroll*
Foxpaw and Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: *fight a lot more for scroll*
Evil yet Ugly Zeeba: *dies*
Foxpaw: Yay! I win!
Random creatures: *celebrate*
Applekit: *walks into breakfast diner* Hi!
Ferncloud: What would you like today?
Applekit: Um... *stares at menu in a strange trance*
Ferncloud: Any day now. I'm not getting paid to stand around. *paws large pile of money that she earned for standing around under the table*
Blackstar: *walks in*
Ferncloud: I hope you know what you want.
Blackstar: I want coffee.
Ferncloud: *makes coffee*
Applekit: I want toast!
Blackstar: Get back to camp. I'll bring the toast.
Forestpaw: You can't boss around my stories! You #$#$%^$^#*!
Blackstar: *gasps* *leaves*
Applekit: Yay! Now I'm the leader!
Ferncloud: Here's Blackstar's coffee and your requested toast. That will be 16 mice.
Applekit: That's really expensive.
Ferncloud: My Clan lives off my business.
Applekit: I have... 3 voles, 2 rabbits, and 5 mice.
Ferncloud: That's all right.
Applekit: *hands 'em over*
Ferncloud: Thank you.
Applekit: Bye! *leaves*
Ferncloud: *walks away*
ThunderClan: *steals the prey and eats it*
Ferncloud: *comes back*
Dictionary: I want a menu, please.
Ferncloud: Okay. *hands Dictionary a menu*
Dictionary: *eats menu*
Ferncloud: *sputters* What- what was that for?!
Dictionary: Yum, good breakfast! 5 stars!
Ferncloud: Have another one!
Toast: I want someone to eat me!
Applekit: I will.
Ferncloud: I thought you left.
Pink unicorn from Charlie the Unicorn: She's sneaky... sneaky... sneaky... *moves legs in curvy motions while lifing off the ground*
Lion: *screams* EEEEEEW! *runs away*
Applekit, Ferncloud, Toast, Dictionary, and ThunderClan: He's weird.
Brambleclaw: I want more mice!
Applekit and Dictionary: *pay and leave*