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Essay
This page contains a fan fiction written by Sparrowsong.
This page contains the opinions of the original author(s), and is not patrolled for factual accuracy.
Remember that this story is non-canon. It may contain false characters, plots, or locations.
Responses, comments & other feedback should be made on the Talk Page.

Chapter One

Poppyfrost and Mousewhisker were making out when Poppyfrost's hotter sister, Cinderheart, walked by. Mousewhisker then stopped making out with Poppyfrost.

"Cinderheart, I loooooovvveeee you!" he exclaimed. "You're so much prettier than my ugly girlfriend, Poppyfrost. I'm going to dump her for you!"

Cinderheart made a face.

"Eww, no way," she refused, wrinkling her nose. "I hate you. You have really bad BO from only showering once a month and you're kind of rude. Plus, no way am I going out with my sister's ex."

With that, Cinderheart walked away. Mousewhisker was all depressed and stuff. He couldn't believe it; Cinderheart, the only she-cat he ever truly loved, was dumping him!

Then Tawnypelt walked over wearing a blonde wig and an ugly pink dress.

"I'm Hannah Montana!" she screeched.

Poppyfrost shot Tawnypelt in the head. Her brains all poured out and then she died.

"Eww!" said Darkpaw (Stormfur and Brook's son). He covered his eyes.

For some reason Poppyfrost was really offended by Darkpaw's comment about Tawnypelt's brains, so she killed him too. Anyway, she was in the mood for murdering people.

Suddenly Poppyfrost realized that what she was doing was wrong; that it was wrong to be a serial killer. She felt so bad for taking their lives away. And poor Darkpaw! He never even got his warrior name! Since the tortoiseshell she-cat now had a criminal record, she couldn't work as a kindergarten teacher like she had always dreamed of - she'd be stuck working at Burger King and Wal-Mart for the rest of her life. Her heart had been broken in two...

"Poppyfrost," interrupted Brackenfur, her father. "Shut up and stop making this story sappy with your stupid angsting."

Meanwhile, Firestar was in Vegas getting married to Britney Spears. Then for some reason he...turned into a dinosaur!

Then they all moved to Germany.

The End

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