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hoi, it's like into the wild except things change to what i like (darkstripe taking therapy, redtail not dying, graypaw being evil)

Prologue

Tigerclaw: YOU STOLE A MOUSE! *angrily points claw at Oakheart*

Oakheart: NUH-UH!

Tigerclaw: *slaps*

Oakheart: I BLEEDIN! MEDDIE HELP MEEEEE

Meddies: NO!

Oakheart: *dies* i ded.

Bluestar: *from far far away* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tigerclaw: RAVENPAW!

Ravenpaw: *shaking inside a bush* yes master?

Tigerclaw: Go back to camp or i'll get Spottedleaf to flirt with you.

Ravenpaw: *shudders* *runs away*

Tigerclaw: *points at Redtail* YOU. I shall kill you now.

Redtail: *grabs Tigerclaw's paws and dances, spinning him into a tree* And done! Now I know why Bluestar signed me up for dance classes!

Redtail: And back to camp!

-+- in a field somewhere in thunderclan -+-

Bluestar: Spottedleaf I have a feeling you're making me healthy with these tacos, but idc.

Spottedleaf: I have my ways.

FLASHBACK

Spottedleaf: And a little bit of deathberry.. and a little bit of watermint..

PRESENT TIME

Bluestar: Oh wait, gotta take my assassination pills. *takes a few pills that are labeled "anti-poison"*

Spottedleaf: *cringes* LOOK A STAR

Bluestar: OH WHAT?

Spottedleaf: FIRE WILL BE HOT-- FIRE WILL SAVE THE CLANS

Bluestar: BUT FIRE BURNS THINGS!

Spottedleaf: Like moi heart, oooo..

Bluestar: Spottedleaf just- just-

Spottedleaf: Hm?

Bluestar: Just stop. Please.

Spottedleaf: *hisses* NOBODY RESPECTS THE SYSTEM! *gets up and runs off*

Bluestar: No Spottedleaf, WAIT! *runs after Spottedleaf*

Chapter One

Rusty: *wakes up* TODAY'S THE DAY..

Rusty: TODAY'S THE DAYYYYYY...

Rusty: TODAY'S THE DAY I ADVENTU-

Smudge: SHUT UP IT'S EVIL OUT THERE!

Rusty: Noes! It ain't! *backflips over the fence*

Smudge: Welp there goes my friend. He'll die.

Rusty: The trees are rustled, the wind is whistlin', and even the bushes are shaking-- WHAT!?

Cat: MROW! *jumps out of bush, bites Rusty's ear*

Rusty: *uppercuts the cat* RAH!

Cat: WOWIES YOU FIGHT WELL! I is you new friend, Graypaw!

Rusty: What?

Graypaw: I SAID I WAS YOUR FRIEND!

Rusty: EEK! Okay!

Graypaw: Great! *drags Rusty into the forest*

Rusty: AHHHHHH- oh look a butterfly - AHHHHH

Bluestar: HEY! DROP THAT!

Graypaw: EEK! *drops Rusty*

Bluestar: NO! THE OTHER THING!

Graypaw: WHAT OTHER THING?

Bluestar: You smell like McKitties.. You got my order, right? *shoves face at Graypaw's*

Graypaw: I forgot..

Bluestar: *pulls a McKitties wrapper from Graypaw's tail*

Graypaw: UH how did that get there..

Bluestar: You ate my McMouse.

Rusty: *starts eating popcorn*

Graypaw: Eheh??

Bluestar: I SENTANCE YOU TO THE ISOLATION HOLE!

Graypaw: NOOOO

IN THE ISOLATION HOLE

Tigerclaw: *gets a text* Hm? Oh, Sandpaw, you're out of the hole.

Sandpaw: YAY! Did I get a pardon?

Tigerclaw: Nah Graypaw ate Bluestar's McMouse so now he is in biiig trouble.

Sandpaw: Good enough. *skips away*

AT THUNDERCLAN CAMP

Bluestar: And thats the medicine den.. Not again..

Rusty: What is it?

Bluestar: Spottedleaf got the tree trunk back and now she's making a new system.

Rusty: ???

Bluestar: *sighs* Spottedleaf is the medicine cat. Go talk to her, but be aware she wants a mate.

Rusty: Okay.. *walks over to Spottedleaf*

Spottedleaf: What can I get y- (in mind: OMG HE'S CUTE)

Rusty: Idk.

Spottedleaf: How about a mate.

Rusty: You're like, 60.

Spottedleaf: Age doesn't matter. *slaps him with a love potion*

Rusty: OMG! I am going to fall in love with you even if you're going to die very soon! Yay!

Spottedleaf: That's what I thought. Wait wha-

Rusty: See you tonight!! *walks off*

Bluestar: Not again!

Sandpaw: *spray paints SPOTTEDLEAF LUVS RUSTY on the wall next to the medicine den* Eheheh-

Lionheart: SANDPAW NO!

Sandpaw: *screams* AHHHHHHHH *runs into forest*

Longtail: HEY! KITTYPUNK!

Rusty: Hm?

Longtail: *cuts Rusty's collar off* HAH!

Rusty: WKBFSJJHFJBSJDK *slaps Longtail*

Longtail: AHHH NOOO *runs into the meddie den*

Bluestar: *gasp* HE IS APPRENTICE! I SHALL NAME YOU FIREPAW!

Firepaw: YAYAS

Dustpaw: BOOOOOOO-

Darkstripe: *shoves Dustpaw into the isolation hole*

Dustpaw: OWIES- oh hey Graypaw

Graypaw: Sup.

Darkstripe: Oops?? *fake smile*

Bluestar: *narrows eyes* hisss...

Chapter Two

Graypaw: First day of training!

Tigerclaw: i hate each and every one of you.

Firepaw: Very positive I see.

Lionheart: HOI WELCOME TO LE THUNDERCLUN!

Firepaw: ...

Lionheart: I need a new job