This is my book from my life about being stupid,
if you like it then be like me and start the stupidity!
Love the crazy stupid cat,
PS My sis WarriorAraheart left me to finish this thx :) A White Pool In the Black Lands?
Part one: Always jump off a the bridge!
One day I was walking with my friends to the bramble gorge. It was origanally a water filled gorge until some two-legs drained it out and put brambles in it. So when we got there they were like.
"Jump off Wishshine!" And "It'll be like jumping into Starclan's territory!"
Well duh, if I did it I would be in Starclan but them I smiled.
"AWESOME!" I yowled!
Then I jumped over into the brambles like nothin'! But then the thorns scraped into my back.
"If you see red stuff then it's cherry cola!" One of my friends said.
Cherry cola! I thought.
Now you know cherry cola is awesome so I dug my body deeper in until I felt a deep pain and too much cherry cola spread over.
"Owwww!" I cried out.
My friends backed away scared and I was left in the bramble gorge. My face turned pail as I waited until moonhigh. I saw our medicine cat Amberpelt run over and carfully tooks the brambles off and pulled me onto land. "Wait! I gotta get my cherry cola!" I meowed. But Aberpelt dragged me into her den.
"You shouldn't have done that!" Amberpelt scolded.
"But my friends have done it before without injury!" I argued.
"If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?" Amberpelt asked narrowing her deep orange eyes.
"Yeah. If it was fun." I said then I got an idea.
Amberpelt gazed at me sadly and put more herbs on me. When I was let out of the medicine den I ran to my friends.
"Lets go to the bridge and jump off!" I said encouraging.
"Awesome!" Said on of my friends Spiketail.
Then we all ran to the old two-leg bridge. Below was spiky rocks and rushing water. Then Spiketail jumped off of the bridge and landed safely in the water. I jumped off and langed face first on a spikey rock. I screamed as loud as I could. Amberpelt rushed me down to the medicine den and I stayed there for two whole seasons!
Now, you may lose a few teeth and pucnture your face, also get a concussion in the process but if any one of your friends, leaders, parents, or medicine cats say If your friends jumped off a bridge would you follow? Or something like that. Always say yes then jump off a bridge. And thats your first lesson on being stupid!
Part two: Always listen to scary stories from senior warriors
It was a dark night and the senoir warrior were telling us small new warriors like me Spiketail and Dusknight scary stories. Now they tell us really scary stories. That is stupid to listen to because you'll go haywire. So we listened to it and the last sentance was,
"And they all were detroyed in the bloody clutches of the Dark Forest!"
I was totally spooked but I just breathed in and out like no big deal and slept in the warriors den. Spiketail came up to me romanticly. I had a huge crush on Spiketail and this was a once in a lifetime offer.
"That story was really scary huh?" He said his eyes sparkling with love.
But then my mind when crazy and he apeared as a bloody vampire cat like the ones in the story. I screamed and attacked him with a stick. Then the stick broke.
"Ahh! Stop Wishshine!" He cried out.
But then I got out a random frying pan and beat his head. A bunch of duckies circled above his head and a cukoo sound when off. I shook my head and saw him with swirly eyes.
"Ooops...." I said embarassed.
In the morning everything I saw was fire and everyone were vampire cats.
"Oh my Starclan!" I yowled and got out my frying pan.
"Hey batta batta!" I said to our leader Whiskerstar getting ready to swing the frying pan.
"Amberpelt no more scary stories for Wishshine! Get her to the medicine den!" Whiskerstar yowled out.
Amberpelt took my frying pan and dragged me to the medicine cat den while I was screaming thinking she was taking me to the Dark Forest. But she dragged me into the medicine cat den and put me into a bramble cage. I was screaming tearing at the brambles but Amberpelt stuffed herbs into my mouth and I suddenly slumped down. I was in the crazy cage being treated for craziness.
So you get the deal. It will be stupid to listen to the senior warriors scary stories, all that might happen ae embaressing youself in front of your crush, trying to kill your leader, and being put into the crazy cage! But it'll be all worth it because you got your stupid lesson two!
Part three: Annoy your Leader 24/7
I was annoying our leader Whiskerstar that morning. Badgering him with questions.
"Whats you favorite prey?" I asked.
"Voles." He said grabbing one from the fresh-kill pile.
"Who's your crush?" I said smiling.
"Hey Mountainwing can you do the patrols today? Thanks. Oh what? No thats personal." He said.
"Do you like monkeys?"
"Arh." He grunted.
"Are you part pirate?"
"No" He rolled his eyes.
"Do you-" Before I finished he pushed me away with his paw.
Whiskerstar then sat down outside of his den grooming his fur. Then I ran over to him and started singing.
"I like ponies! Yes I do! Even though they do big poo! I love ponies yes I am! Even if they eat ymmy lambs!"
Whiskerstar looked at me like I was crazy. Then I continued.
"I am a panda yes I am I like to eat ymmy yams! Yams yams yams yummy yams!"
Whiskerstar yowled and ran off. I followed him.
"Wait! Is yor breath a black hole?!" Then I kept asking questions.
Whiskerstar started to cry but I kept talking.
"Do you like pie? I like pie, do you like candy? I like candy, Do you like Ponies? I like ponies."
Whiskerstar screamed at me and pinned me to a treethen tied me there with a vine.
"Peace at last" He purred and padded away.
"Do you like yams I like yams do-" I then stopped as Whiskerstar yowled.
And thats how you annoy your leader. Well the bad part is that you'll get tied up to a tree for a moon. But it's great because you'll be stupid! Lesson three learned!