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Contains fire, references to homeless persons, death, humor that may cause you to die of laughter, irreverent attitudes towards StarClan, and 50% of your daily protein.

FOUR CLANS FOREST TALK SHOW

(With your host, Darkfire)

Darkfire: Hello, and welcome to Four Clans Forest Talk Show, currently broadcasting off of a radio we stole from some Twolegs as our sponsors no longer actually are our sponsors. And Firestar burned down our studio again.

Firestar: I plead the fifth!

Darkfire: I honestly don’t care anymore. Today on FCF we have no guests. None. They all ran off when Firestar showed up.

Firestar: I plead the fifth once more!

Darkfire: I’m going to go kill something. (Walks away)

Firestar: But who’ll host the show?

Darkfire: You can do it for all I care!

Firestar: (evil laugh)

Fire Cool Firestar Talk Show

(With your host, Firestar the ETERNALLY AWESOMER THAN YOU LOLOLOLOL!)

Firestar: Today on FCF we have five guests: Me, Bluestar, Redstar, Hobofur, and Brambleclaw.

Firestar: Hi.

Firestar (Imitating Bluestar): Hi!

Firestar (As Redstar): Hello!

Hobofur: CHERRIES!

Brambleclaw: Wait, Firestar is here? (Runs away)

Firestar (As Brambleclaw): Oh, I’m just running from the AWESOME!

Hobofur: (walks away) I’m going to find a garbage dumpster to dance in.

Firestar (As Bluestar): I trained Firestar, and he’s awesome!

Firestar (as Redstar): I like the color red, which means I like Firestar! He’s awesome!

Darkfire: Okay I’m-

Firestar: GET OUT OF MY STUDIO!

Darkfire: It’s a rock.

Firestar: GET AWAY!

Darkfire: And it’s mine.

Firestar: MY AWESOMNESS COMPELS YOU!

Darkfire: (Kills Firestar)

Firestar: I have nine lives! Ha!

Darkfire: (Kills Firestar nine times)

Firestar: Crap. (dies)

StarClan: Everybody DANCE now!

Darkfire: We’ll be back if I can find enough food to live on. And some guests willing to come on the air. Bye!

THE END

Firestar (in StarClan): I could have done that so much better.

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