Contains fire, references to homeless persons, death, humor that may cause you to die of laughter, irreverent attitudes towards StarClan, and 50% of your daily protein.
FOUR CLANS FOREST TALK SHOW
Darkfire: Hello, and welcome to Four Clans Forest Talk Show, currently broadcasting off of a radio we stole from some Twolegs as our sponsors no longer actually are our sponsors. And Firestar burned down our studio again.
Firestar: I plead the fifth!
Darkfire: I honestly don’t care anymore. Today on FCF we have no guests. None. They all ran off when Firestar showed up.
Firestar: I plead the fifth once more!
Darkfire: I’m going to go kill something. (Walks away)
Firestar: But who’ll host the show?
Darkfire: You can do it for all I care!
Firestar: (evil laugh)
Fire Cool Firestar Talk Show
Firestar: Today on FCF we have five guests: Me, Bluestar, Redstar, Hobofur, and Brambleclaw.
Firestar (Imitating Bluestar): Hi!
Firestar (As Redstar): Hello!
Brambleclaw: Wait, Firestar is here? (Runs away)
Firestar (As Brambleclaw): Oh, I’m just running from the AWESOME!
Hobofur: (walks away) I’m going to find a garbage dumpster to dance in.
Firestar (As Bluestar): I trained Firestar, and he’s awesome!
Firestar (as Redstar): I like the color red, which means I like Firestar! He’s awesome!
Darkfire: Okay I’m-
Firestar: GET OUT OF MY STUDIO!
Darkfire: It’s a rock.
Firestar: GET AWAY!
Darkfire: And it’s mine.
Firestar: MY AWESOMNESS COMPELS YOU!
Darkfire: (Kills Firestar)
Firestar: I have nine lives! Ha!
Darkfire: (Kills Firestar nine times)
Firestar: Crap. (dies)
StarClan: Everybody DANCE now!
Darkfire: We’ll be back if I can find enough food to live on. And some guests willing to come on the air. Bye!
Firestar (in StarClan): I could have done that so much better.