Contains less than moderate language and corporate meddling
FOUR CLANS FOREST TALK SHOW
FOUR CLANS FOREST TALK SHOW
(With your host, Darkfire)
Darkfire: Hello, and welcome to Four Clans Forest Talk. Today we have 7 Guests: Hawkfrost, Brambleclaw, Tigerstar. Tawnypelt, Goldenflower, Mothwing, and Sasha.
Brambleclaw: I dissociate myself from him.
Tawnypelt: (Rolls eyes)
Goldenflower: What am I doing here?
Mothwing: I’m scared.
Sasha: You disappoint me, Mothwing
Tigerstar: Yes. You should be more like Hawkfrost.
Darkfire: You mean dead?
Hawkfrost: Shut up, badger!
Darkfire: I’m not a badger. I hope.
Brambleclaw: Why am I here?
Darkfire: This is our dysfunctional family episode.
Darkfire: We’re taking calls after the commercial break at 335-0012-FFC.
Kit: Mommy, the twolegs are destroying the forest!
Queen: Don’t worry, Hobokit, we’ll be saved!
Brambleclaw: THAT’S RIGHT! Just call Great Journey Protection Co. and we’ll go on a random journey for some prophecy and save your home! Money back if not completely satisfied.
Brambleclaw: I don’t remember doing a commercial like that…
Goldenflower: That’s because Tigerstar did it for more money.
Tigerstar: My landlord in the Place of No Stars was going to evict me! I needed the cash!
Brambleclaw: What about my intellectual property?
Hawkfrost: Well, since you have no intellect-
Darkfire: Aaaaaaaaand we have our first caller!
(Phone) Squirrelflight: Brambleclaw is nothing like Hawkfrost! Nothing!
Brambleclaw: Thank you, Squirrelflight.
Squirrelflight: And Firestar died while you were doing this show. Ta!
Darkfire: Ha ha. I’m sure she was joking. I hope.
Squirrelflight: I. Never. Joke.
Tigerstar: Finally! YES! OH YEA! BO YAH! GO TIGER! GO TIGER! GO TIGER!
Squirrelflight: Except for now. He’s really alive.
Tigerstar and Hawkfrost: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Squirrelflight: BWAHAHAHHAHAHAH! (click)
Darkfire: Just in time for our next commercial!
ThunderClan cat: The other Clans are invading!
ThunderClan queen: I need to go fight!
Daisy: Need someone to look after your kits while you are battling enemies?
Daisy: Daisy Daycare! Just call 183-234-KITS.
Darkfire: Our next caller is Hobofur:
(Phone) Hobofur: CHERRIES! (click)
Darkfire: Crap. Now I need to actually have content.
Tigerstar: That’s the problem with this show. You just have the guests and the callers talk and you barely say anything.
Darkfire: Your point being?
Tigerstar: Also, didn’t the studio get burned down last time?
Firestar: Not my fault!
Darkfire: Two words. Negative continuity.
Mothwing: (runs away)
Sasha: Oh no you don’t! (stops Mothwing.)
Darkfire: What’s a chicken?
Hawkfrost: I don’t know…
Darkfire: Finally! It’s commercial time!
Darkfire: What the…?
Stagehand Cat: Our sponsors no longer sponsor us.
Darkfire: Ummmm…. Goodbye everyone! We’ll see you next time if we can find a sponsor!