Moderate Violence, Blood, Suggestive Themes

Hi! Sparrowfeather here! I've decided that I want to make a humor fic. But this humor fic is not like any other. It has a real* plot, uses real** characters, and Harry Potter does not randomly appear in the middle. No, Fire, Ice, and Some Other Flying Thing focuses on the life of three kits in ThunderClan, daughters of Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw: Frostkit, Hawkkit, and Flamekit. Each of them is odd in their own way, and confuses and annoys most of the real** characters. I changed the allegiances some. Based on me (Hawkkit), my friend May-Helene (Frostkit), and my other friend Frøy*** (Flamekit). Anyway, enjoy!

  • I would say serious, but it's not serious, so...
    • Characters from the books.
      • She's Norwegian. The funny 'o' is part of their language. Cool, huh?



Leader: Firestar – ginger tom with a flame colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw – dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: Leafpool – light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes


Graystripe – long-haired gray tom

Millie – gray tabby she-cat

Ashfur - light gray tom (with darker flecks), dark blue eyes

Dustpelt – dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm – pale ginger she-cat

Cloudtail – long-haired white tom

Brackenfur – golden brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Whitepaw

Brightheart – White she-cat with ginger patches


Whitepaw – white she-cat with green eyes


Squirrelflight – dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Daisy – cream colored, long furred she-cat from the horseplace

Sorreltail – Tortiseshell and white she-cat with amber eyes


Cinderkit – gray tabby she-cat

Honeykit – light brown tabby tom

Mousekit – gray and white tom

Frostkit – Pure white she-cat with blue eyes

Hawkkit – Brown and pale ginger swirled she-cat with amber eyes

Flamekit – ginger she-cat with a flame colored pelt and green eyes


Goldenflower – pale ginger coat, oldest elder

Longtail – pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing eyesight.

Mousefur – small dusky brown she-cat

Frostkit, Hawkkit, and Flamekit

Brambleclaw stepped carefully into the nursery. His mate, Squirrelflight, was lying next to three kits, who were snuggled up to her dark ginger pelt and sleeping peacefully.

"What should we name them?" Brambleclaw asked.

"Well, I named this one Frostkit," Squirrelflight licked the top of a pure white she-cat. "I thought maybe you could name the other two." Brambleclaw purred happily.

"Okay. This one will be... Hawkkit." A brown and ginger swirled kit stirred at the sound of her name. "And the ginger kit looks a lot like Firestar, so how about Firekit?"

"No. Not Firekit. Flamekit."

"So these are our kits, Frostkit, Hawkkit, and Flamekit." Squirrelflight looked up and gazed into Brambleclaw's eyes.

"I bet they'll be the strongest and wisest warriors ThunderClan has ever seen!"

No sooner had the words come out of Squirrelflight's mouth than a bolt of lightning shot out of the clear blue sky and shocked Daisy, who had stepped outside to give the kits some room, leaving the unfourtonate queen charred black.

Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, and the kits didn't notice.

First Contact

"Frostkit! What in the name of StarClan are you doing?" Squirrelflight ran towards the pure white kit, who was standing on a pile of something red - and squished. First day out of the nursery and doing something dangerous already. Oh, kits. She thought. Frostkit looked up from where she was.

"I'm making the world more colorful!" She squealed in happiness.

"Colorful?!" Squirrelflight yowled. "Those are deathberries! Don't you know what they do?!"

"Well..." Frostkits' face adopted a thoughtful expression. "They are poisonous enough to kill a full-grown warrior almost instantly, medicine cats sometimes use them to put a dying warrior out of their pain, and they make a bright red paste when squished." At Squirrelflight's shocked expression, Frostkit anxiously asked. "Did I forget anything?" Squirrelflight slowly shook her head.

"No. No, you didn't. Go wash yourself off in the river and don't play with deathberries anymore."

"But deathberries are - "

"You heard what I said! You are not to touch deathberries unless you are a medicine cat!" Snapped Squirrelflight.

"Aww..." Frostkits' head and tail drooped and she padded off towards the nearest water source. Squirrelflight shook her head slowly, this time is disbelief, as she looked down at the mushy, deadly - but very colorful - mess Frostkit had left behind.

. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Firestar yawned and stepped into his den. It had been a good couple moons. Prey was running well for early newleaf, new kits had been born, and ShadowClan had recalled their attacks. But now Firestar was tired, and -

"You have really comfy bedding!"

"I - um - what?" Firestar looked around for the source of the voice. It had come from a small brown and ginger kit buried up to her head in - his bedding?!

"I said you have really comfy bedding. Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Um, who are you?"

"I'm Hawkkit, your grandkit, Grandpaw!" Firestar blinked. That kit - Hawkkit, had called him Grandpaw! Hawkkit was still talking. "Wait, how can you be the leader if your still an apprentice, Grandpaw? That makes no sense! I thought you were supposed to be a warrior first! And why are you still Grandpaw? Shouldn't you be Grandstar?" Unbeknownst to Hawkkit, Firestar's mind was somewhere else. 'Your grandkit'? But that means that Squirrelflight must've given birth already... She was always out and around the camp, so... Sandstorm was gonna be mad!

"But, really, I think Tigerstar is much worse than Blackstar."

"Oh, StarClan, I have to go!" Firestar turned tail and ran out of his den. Hawkkit stared at his vanishing tail.

"Did I scare you, Grandpaw? Wait up!" Hawkkit charged out after Firestar.

. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And while Frostkit and Hawkkit played with deadly things, annoyed their mother and the Clan leader, and generally got in trouble, Flamekit slept in a tree.

The Unfourtonate Tendencies of Flamekit

Flamekit yawned, rolled over, then snapped her eyes open in panic. Oh no! Maybe someone has gotten past Flameclaw - fearsome warrior! Flamekit struck a dramatic pose, then continued her thoughts. I was gonna jump on them! She looked down. Two cats were below the branch that she was sitting on. One had a flame-colored pelt, and was running as if it's tail was on fire. The other had a pure-white pelt, and was walking slowly and sadly. Now, if Flamekit had stopped to think, she would have realized who was below her and not jumped. But she didn't, so she did.

"RAWR!" She yowled and jumped off the branch. The flame-pelted warrior looked up, gave a small jump, and ran away even faster. Flamekit looked down proudly. I'm only a kit, but I already chased away a warrior! I am the awsomest and strongest cat in the forest! I am - hey, wait, I'm still fall- Thump!

Flamekit landed on the white pelt, and another, a brown and ginger pelt.

"Flamekit!" Exclaimed Frostkit, now happy again.

"Grandpaw! Wait up! Oh, hi, Flamekit!" Hawkkit looked at Flamekit. "Why are you sitting on me?" Flamekit stood up and got off Hawkkit.

"Hi, Frostkit! Hi, Hawkkit! How was your first day out of the nursery?" Frostkit looked down sadly and replied in a mournful tone.

"I'm not allowed to play with deathberries anymore." Hawkkit, however, completely ignorant of her sister's unhappiness, happily replied,

"I found the softest bedding in the forest!" Then, after a moment, added. "But I think Grandpaw is afraid of me now. What did you do?"

"Well, actually, I think I spend the whole day sleeping in a tree." Just then, Ashfur walked by.

"Hi, kits! How are you guys?" Flamekit turned to look at Ashfur.

"Die, Blackstar!" She yowled.

"I, um, what?" But Flamekit was already on top of him, nipping at his fur. Ashfur tried to shake her off, but Flamekit held on stubbornly, claws clutching his fur.

"Go Flamekit!" Yowled Hawkkit. Frostkit blinked, then joined in. "Get him, Flamekit!"

"Brambleclaw! Squirrelflight! Your ginger kit is attacking me!" Ashfur yowled. Almost instantly, Brambleclaw came running out of the nursery as fast as his feet could carry him.

"Flamekit! What are you doing?" Then he saw who she was attacking. "Carry on."

And then he walked away, leaving a very annoyed and slightly angry Ashfur behind.

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