Song nine of Night Visions.
I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
Mossleap’s paw touched blood. His own blood. He couldn’t remember what had happened. Cats flooded the camp, and the world went black, as if the sun had died. He noticed that someone had sliced open his belly, and something was keeping him alive. Only just.
“I’ve found another one,” shouted a voice.
Mossleap heard paws patter over. “He looks dead,” a worried she cat meowed.
The first cat sighed. “Whiteleaf, he’s breathing, look.” He prodded Mossleap’s flank and he hissed in pain. The she-cat leapt back in fear. “Don’t worry, little guy,” the first cat whispered, “I’m Browngorse, and we’re going to get you well.”
As if, Mossleap snorted to himself. He was dying. And even Browngorse knew it.
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you, for you.
Browngorse thrust himself through the Meadowclan medicine den.
“I can’t fully heal him, but I can delay his death,” a voice croaked.
Browngorse growled. “You have many survivors to treat, but one won’t make a difference.”
The old she-cat smiled. “I’ll do what I can.”
~
Mossleap felt better. His belly was bandaged up, but the stuff that got ripped out of him was dodgy put back in place. He had eaten, drank, and took some herbs.
At least he was going to live longer.
Ten minutes longer.
~
When the day has come
That I've lost my way around
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground
When the sky turns gray
And everything is screaming
I will reach inside
Just to find my heart is beating
Mossleap struggled to catch the thoughts that were going round and round his brain. Why did the rogues attack? And why on his warrior ceremony?
Flame.
He started to worry. He had betrayed Flame, so she got revenge by attacking his clan and killing the cats he loved.
Birdnose and Cloverkit. Martha and Cloverkit! They were dead!
“Birdnose!” he screamed.
A voice beside him purred. “I’m here, Mossleap.”
“I’m dying,” he whispered.
Birdnose’s nose touched his. “In our dying moments, take some time to reflect on the memories we’ve had.”
Mossleap purred and cried at the same time. “Is Cloverkit okay?”
“He managed to escape and he’s just been bought back to the Meadowclan camp.”
“Daddy?” asked a tiny voice.
“Cloverkit,” purred Mossleap and Birdnose together. “We’re going to visit the cats in the stars.”
“Oh wow! Can I come too?”
Mossleap shook his head. “It is not your time. Come, let me tell you about my adventures before you were born.”
Cloverkit squeaked in delight and cuddled up beside his parents.
~
Oh, you tell me to hold on
Oh, you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong
“First,” Mossleap began, “Is the time I faked my death to live with your mother.”
Cloverkit’s eyes widened in awe. “How did you do it?”
“A cat called Elyssa agreed to do it, she and I went hunting, and I fled. Elyssa was supposed to tell Flame, the rogue leader, that I died in a rockfall.”
“Who’s Flame?” asked Cloverkit.
“An old friend, who was the one who probably wounded me.” Mossleap gave an irritated twitch.
“And did Flame believe Elyssa?”
Mossleap shrugged. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there to see it.”
Cloverkit wriggled about, satisfied. “Tell me something else, daddy. Mummy told me that you climbed the Woodsford Church.”
“I did,” Mossleap purred. “And that’s how I met your mother.”
~
'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
“So Abby died, and I finally reached the top of the church,” Mossleap mewed.
“Wow!” Cloverkit yowled, “That must have been awesome!”
Mossleap purred weakly. “It was.” He paused. “Shouldn’t Birdnose tell you some stories now?”
“Oh yes!” squealed Birdnose, despite the fact that she was dying. “I’ll tell you about the day of the bloodflowers.”
Cloverkit gasped. “That sounds like a battle!”
Birdnose purred and shook her head. “It was a ceremony of twolegs. They carried a ring of red flowers to a stone column. The whole town was there!”
“Cool!” meowed Cloverkit. “Anything else?”
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
“How much longer?” Mossleap whispered to Birdnose.
Birdnose’s eyes turned glassy as she looked at Cloverkit frolicking outside the den. “I just don’t want him to be alone.”
“Neither do I,” said Mossleap sternly, “But life must go on.”
Birdnose purred. “That doesn’t explain much.”
“Fate doesn’t explain much, the same with Starclan, but everything becomes okay in the end,” replied Mossleap. “Goodbye, Birdnose.”
~
When the hour is nigh
And hopelessness is sinking in
And the wolves all cry
To fill the night with hollering
When your eyes are red
And emptiness is all you know
With the darkness fed
I will be your scarecrow
“Mossleap! You can’t go!” choked out Birdnose.
“And we can’t stay,” said Mossleap sternly. “We can’t live forever,” he pointed out.
“But we can live long,” Birdnose forcefully insisted.
“No.” Birdnose shook her head. “Maybe in another life we can, but not this one.”
~
You tell me to hold on
Oh you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong
“How is he, Nightlight?” asked Browngorse. He stared at the grey and white cats huddled up together. Both mates. Both dying together. They probably had a kit too.
“They won’t live for much longer,” rasped the old she-cat hauntingly.
“No!” yelled Browngorse. “They can’t die!”
“Death is possible,” chimed Nightlight. “So they can die.”
Browngorse gritted his teeth. “That’s not what I meant, old hag.”
Nightlight shot him a venomous glare. “Get. Out.”
Browngorse stayed where he was, and knocked the frail old skeleton to the ground.
That’ll show her to mess with the Meadowclan deputy.
~
'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you, for you.
“Where’s the medicine cat?” Mossleap asked sleepily.
“I took care of her,” Browngorse replied briskly. “Now sleep. Then dying will be easier.”
Mossleap fidgeted. Why was death taking so long to happen? “Okay,” he said tentatively. “I’ll sleep. But are you sure it works?”
Browngorse shrugged. “It worked for your mate. She’s dead already. Stone cold.”
No! Mossleap collapsed in slow, heaving sobs.
“I saw her spirit. Faint, but still here. She’s waiting for you so you can go together.”
Mossleap sniffed. He caught Birdnose’s scent faintly. It was still here.
“How much longer?” he asked Browngorse.
Browngorse attempted a small smile. “Not much longer,” he said sadly.
~
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you
Time ticks by on a clock,
Time ticks by knock, knock, knock,
Every day will be your last
And you will go into the past.
Every day there is a knock,
And on the other side is a clock,
When the clock finally rings,
Screams will sing: Death’s Deliverance!
One day you’ll have a ripple,
The next day you’ll be a cripple,
You’ll hear the time tick-tock by,
And then death will be so nigh.
And when that day will come,
You’ll know your time is finally done,
And screams will sing:
Death’s deliverance is done…
~
'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you, for you.
“Mossleap?”
Mossleap rolled out of the clump of ferns he had been sleeping in. “Birdnose?” he asked.
They stood, staring into each other’s eyes. Mossleap had to admit, Birdnose looked better. So did he. No more scratches. It was like the battle had never happened at all.
“It’s time,” meowed Birdnose. Mossleap nodded. He understood exactly what she meant. Together they padded through the forest, and stopped by a pool.
The image in the pool showed the Meadowclan camp. Four apprentices stood on the Meadowrock, accompanied by Mothstar. Mothstar looked old and frail. She wouldn’t be alive for much longer.
“Until you earn your warrior name, you will be called Cloverpaw. Fernfall, you are capable of training an apprentice, so I give Cloverpaw to you as your responsibility.”
The cats in the camp cheered. Birdnose leant in to Mossleap.
“Amazing, isn’t he? Our son.”
Mossleap nodded. “And we will always be watching over him."
Birdnose purred in agreement. “The stars will light his path.”
Mossleap twined his tail around his mate’s. “And we are those stars. Shining on.”